Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category


SGML: Stupid Generalized Markup Language

I just unzipped an MS Word document (.DOC) and and an OOO text document (.ODT) to look at their respective XML because I was kinda curious. Microsoft has somehow managed to encode their documents so the content doesn’t show up inside what you can extract, but even so at first I thought I could almost guarantee it’s not as bloated as the .ODT, whose content file begins by defining the style of every single section of the document, and then goes on to assign every single word a separate style tag.

καὶ τὰ λειπόμενα


Biblical Humor and Housman

Yesterday, in New Testament Greek, we were translating aloud from Mark 4 (the parables of the sower, the light under a bushel, the growing seed, the mustard seed) when my friend Chris got to do verse 32: καὶ ὅταν σπαρῇ, ἀναβαίνει καὶ γίνεται μεῖζον πάντων τῶν λαχάνων καὶ ποιεῖ κλάδους μεγάλους, ὥστε δύνασθαι ὑπὸ τὴν σκιὰν αὐτοῦ τὰ πετεινὰ τοῦ οὐρανοῦ κατασκηνοῦν.* Seeing οὐρανός, and in the New Testament no less, he tried to translate it as “heaven:” thus, τὰ πετεινὰ οὐρανοῦ as the birds from heaven. Which, of course, made no sense. I pointed out that birds of the sky is actually a pretty common stock phrase in Greek, Latin, and Aramaic (and he smacked himself in the forehead when he realized that he should have gotten the parallel with Biblical Hebrew), but before that our professor made us all burst out laughing when she kind of got stuck on that translation of οὐρανός as heaven by saying, “You know, birds from heaven as opposed to earth. Like, not penguins.” I think our class will be known as the Penguins of Heaven from now on… It might have gotten worse, but when Nick tried to add ostriches to the mix, I pointed out that the Greek for that would be στρουθοί (cf. Septuagint Job 30.29) or στρουθοί αἱ μεγάλαι (cf. Ξενοφόντος Ἀναβάσις 1.5.2).

*A quick and dirty (and therefore still in translatese) translation: And whenever it [a tiny mustard seed] should be planted, it goes up and becomes greatest of all herbs and great shoots come to be, so that the birds of the sky are able to roost under its shadow.

Earlier this week, in Greek Lyric Poetry, my professor (the same one, actually) brought in a humorous little satire written by Alfred Edward Housman. If you don’t know who A. E. Housman was, he was a turn of the (20th) century philologist, clacissist, and poet, reknowned for being extremely polemic, and generally right, as well as the very classically-influenced style of his poetry (as I often do, while I wouldn’t recommend it as a source for a scholarly work, I’ll make the Wiki link available for a brief introduction). Anyway, being familiar with countless classical works, Housman was also just as frustrated as we modern students with the literary devices of the ancients, such as synecdoche, understatement, hendiadys (oh ye gods, hendiadys!), repetition, and all the other things that contribute to things translated directly from Greek or Latin (or Hebrew, for which see the King James Bible, which while not the most scholarly version of the Bible ever does match the literary style of the original more accurately than any other English version) sounding just plain weird. To express his frustration, or possibly for a laugh, he wrote a “fragment of a Greek tragedy,” of the murder of Eriphyle by her son Alcmaeon, which follows the cut to avoid cluttering the page too much with something someone else wrote:

καὶ τὰ λειπόμενα



I’ve been watching a lot of NCIS lately. Too much, really, given the amount of work I have to do, and even more the amount of languages I have to do it in. Anyway, I also saw Zombieland recently, I’ve enjoyed the occasional episode of My Name Is Earl, and I owned the book 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter before the show was even pitched. I’ve noticed that people really like to make up lists of rules, and I’ve gotta say it’s not a bad idea. Some of the rules fit specific situations, some are good for general living, and some are just a bit out there, but the truth is that for the most part none are actually bad. I particularly like Gibbs’ rules (Columbus’ rules are decent, but sometimes too vague), as they’re pretty much all good practical advice, although some are a little too specific to criminal investigation (like rule #1: Never let suspects stay together). So, since I’ve been up all night for no particular reason, and I wound up writing on my new pad just to see if I could (it’s tiny, so I can keep it in my pocket, and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t too cramped), I’ve begun my own set of rules for life. I like to have a little humor and explanation in my rules, but I believe that most of them are appropriate for general living. Note that some of the explanations are true, but not necessarily the reason for the rule; these tend to be at least a bit tongue-in-cheek (cf. rr. 2, 4).

καὶ τὰ λειπόμενα


I got nothin’

It’s been a while since I wrote anything here, largely because I suck at keeping up with, well, anything. Still and all, I figure there’s always something to write about, write? Uh, I mean, right?

Right. And that’s why I’m here to talk about… absolutely nothing! Hey, it’s not like anyone reads this anyway, and I’ve been kinda sick lately and putting off doing anything to prepare for the coming semester, like rereading my Arabic 101 book or flipping through a copy of the Aeneid in Latin (Arma virvmqve cano!) or even making sure my work shirts are in order. Basically, most of my vacation has been spent reading fanfics, reading my Christmas and Chanukkah gifts (the Temperence Brennan books to date except 206 Bones, the Chronicles of Elantra to date, the D’Aulaires’ books of myths, Is This Apocalypse Necessary, and a couple of cookbooks), and watching a few movies and the first season of NCIS. If I ever get around to it, writing about any of those things will probably be cool, but… well, it hasn’t happened yet.


Hello world!

I don’t feel like changing the title of the opening post because, well, it’s appropriate, but the content is definitely getting redone. Welcome to Wholly Crap Productions, which doesn’t have much in the way of productions just yet, though anything I do make will wind up here. I’m an amateur everything and on my way to being a professional epigrapher (fingers crossed on grad schools right now!), so depending on how much time I have (rarely much, if any), how much motivation I have (not too much better, admittedly), and what mood strikes me, you may find anything from recipes to pictures of computer projects, to videos, to comics, to linguistic and historical articles here. I think I had something I was planning to post as soon as the signup process was completed, but it’s two in the morning, and I just got back from work at quarter after one, so I’m too tired to really think of such things too well. Ah well.

Oh, yes, and although the primary language is English, don’t be surprised if some other languages pop up occasionally. I have some level of proficiency in (in order from best to worst) French, ancient Greek, Latin, Biblical/imperial Aramaic, German, Hebrew, and Arabic, with some tidbits from Japanese, Welsh, and Italian, and I’m working on learning Coptic right now. Even though I can’t really hold much of a conversation in any but French, nor read much without plenty of reference materials nearby beyond the first three, all of them come up in the course of my studies and my odd life, and I may occasionally toss something odd up there like how I like that horrendous expletives sound pretty in Italian, or a Greek poem I particularly like. In fact, here, just so this isn’t a complete waste, have Archilochus’ (Ἀρχιλόχος) elegaic fragment 103:

“πόλλ’ οἶδ’ ἀλώπηξ, ἀλλ’ ἐχῖνος ἓν μέγα.”

“The fox knows many wiles, the hedgehog but one great one.” In other words, you don’t have to be smart to survive if you’re sufficiently prickly!Tune in next time for Simonides 7 if I’m up to that much typing.